Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I Don't Wanna Grow Up

I had a thought today, that I've had many times before: I don't want to compete. I don't want to have to fight. I don't want to strive to be the best. I just want to BE.

I'm motivated, but not by the things most people are. I define success differently. It's not better or worse than the way most people define it. It's just different.

Because of all this, it's tough for a guy like me to exist within "the system". I'm finding it tough to be a responsible grown-up. I even hate the words. It's not that I want to be immature or juvenile. It's not that I don't want responsibility. I'm fine with those things. And I love the things being a grown up has brought me, like my wonderful family.

But, I don't like talking about the things most adults talk about. I just don't function in that way.

And when those "I don't want to compete/I don't want to fight/I don't want to have to be the best" thoughts come to me, I often think about the greater topic of being grown-up.

And inevitably...every time...the words of this Tom Waits song go through my head.

Sure, it's presented with tongue in cheek. Sure, it's funny and silly and sarcastic. But, as with all good sarcasm or satire...there's an awful lot of truth in it. I don't know of any other piece of art that so perfectly captures being a grown up...and seeing it through the innocent eyes of a child.

Lyrics follow...


When I'm lyin' in my bed at night
I don't wanna grow up
Nothin' ever seems to turn out right
I don't wanna grow up
How do you move in a world of fog
That's always changing things
Makes me wish that I could be a dog
When I see the price that you pay
I don't wanna grow up
I don't ever wanna be that way
I don't wanna grow up

Seems like folks turn into things
That they'd never want
The only thing to live for
Is today
I'm gonna put a hole in my TV set
I don't wanna grow up
Open up the medicine chest
And I don't wanna grow up
I don't wanna have to shout it out
I don't want my hair to fall out
I don't wanna be filled with doubt
I don't wanna be a good boy scout
I don't wanna have to learn to count
I don't wanna have the biggest amount
I don't wanna grow up

Well when I see my parents fight
I don't wanna grow up
They all go out and drinking all night
And I don't wanna grow up
I'd rather stay here in my room
Nothin' out there but sad and gloom
I don't wanna live in a big old Tomb
On Grand Street

When I see the 5 o'clock news
I don't wanna grow up
Comb their hair and shine their shoes
I don't wanna grow up
Stay around in my old hometown
I don't wanna put no money down
I don't wanna get me a big old loan
Work them fingers to the bone
I don't wanna float a broom
Fall in love and get married then boom
How the hell did I get here so soon
I don't wanna grow up

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